wild blue violets forever

When your spine is a rubberband and your lungs only know sighs
and the city is a jungle full of memories overgrown and lived in;
If despite the cacophony of people and information drumming on your door
and the onslaught on all focus and attention, you're more alone by the hour,
don't despair.
No matter the number of places you move, you'll never find home
if you don't realize you're already there.
You have everything you could ever need.
The real reason your heart is so busted and broken
is that
so many roots have already taken hold.
Take some time to tend the garden.

I was listening for the whirr of a centrifuge as the people I passed felt like a roulette.

There is no way to know the life you want to lead before you've lived it.

I want to spend time around people like you.

The best I could wish for is that your memories of me are a smooth respite in your recollection of this world.

come as you are

There's nothing cosmic about this: Learning to be comfortable with one's self, I assume, is a natural progression. In some ways I feel like I was on a fast track, and in other ways, a late bloomer. Non-bloomer really. It is not important.

One of the most influential men in my life gave me a job interview,  knowing that I'd be arriving rough in wrinkled party clothes from the night before.  "That doesn't matter. Come as you are."

I took that advice and generally rolled with it for the rest of my life. 

Nearly three years passed.

And then

"It happened."

A letter in which I detail to my dearest friend, the wanderings which led me to destroy my phone and rest my sickness off on her futon. I won't detail the contents- not that it's private, but I don't think it can perfectly be duplicated.
Titling a letter in this manner is the first thing that happened, a writing device which I've long had a yearning to use.
The realization that I had (if momentarily) become an orphan of technology is the next.
Furthermore, she called me a writer once she had read it- something I explicitly asked her not to let me become (I know I said I wouldn't detail the contents, but that was just one thing). If it's true, I guess it's something I should just learn to live with. 
In the interest of taking very good care of myself (not that I always do), I have an affinity for nice things and appreciate quality and attention to detail. I mostly appreciate these attributes in the people around me. To that end, I am trying to do what I can to be the glue, and encourage people in my life to follow their hearts and help them to prosper.
I'm not perfect, but it's worth noting that recent happenings have led me to learning less about my potential and career path, and more about the nature of myself. There is very little that we can plan for, and every aspect of our lives is a borrowed experience. Considering this fully will completely change one's priorities.

We had a great run. I'm going to take these experiences with me everywhere. 

From one hangover interview to the next, and everything in between.